Soyeenka Mishra

Standard protocol

Good morning, ma'am, I hope you're well.
I'm the police, here’s my ID—I’m terribly sorry
about your husband's death, but
If it's not a problem, would you please cooperate
And answer certain questions truthfully
and without deceit? Good. Now, will you please say,
"Cross my heart and hope to die"?
Oh, did I scare you, ma'am? It's all in good fun!
Let us get down to business, shall we?

Tell me, Mrs X, did he have any last words
To speak before breathing his last?
Did he have anything to say about a certain man
Whom he might have had some words with?
No? Well then, did he perhaps have a certain red ring
Clutched in his closed fist the night he returned
From the site of the deed? Hmm, that's strange,
Could he have ingested it? I hope you can agree
To an autopsy, ma’am, for I am quite sure it was him
Who wrenched it out of my little finger at the end.
It is a precious family heirloom, you see, passed down
To all the sons once they make their first kill!
And being an only child, I can't help but treat it

Ever so carefully. It is not about the spat I had with
Your husband prior to it, but that he dared to
Take what is mine so dauntlessly.

Wait, stop fidgeting! What is it that
You hide behind your back so suspiciously?
Be a good sport, ma'am, I wish you'd comply.
Aha! There we go, now was that so hard?
There's a good girl. What were you thinking,
Hiding my ring in such plain sight? It draws me
In wherever it is. It is mine as I am its, forever bound.
Oh, don't rub that wrist so harshly, ma'am,
a little crack like that would heal in no time at all!
Trust my words, for I never lie. It is such a shame
That your husband thought me a liar, a deceiver—
In a way, he received his due, won't you say?

But that won't do. Are you sure you speak the truth?
I can't help but have doubts; it is simply in my nature.
Will you allow me to ensure that there are left
No loose ends to come haunt me later in the dark?
You look so spooked, ma'am. Is there anything I can
Do to make you feel more at ease? Let me close this
Door shut; the draft must have you shivering like this!

That fireplace seems mighty warm, ah, mind if I try?
Just a few more logs and there, see how the fire roars?
Shush, don't fret, it will be all cosy and soft––
Soon enough, you won't even feel the bite and the burn.
Don't scream! It hurts my ears. They're sensitive, you see?
Let me put the grills back on, I can't let you set your
Sprawling mansion on fire now, can I? After all,
Aren't I the most dutiful man of them all?

There, there, I wish I could pat you for being
So brave this whole ordeal, but you're so far
Out of my reach. Yet I'm glad the ring fit you better
Than him—Oh right, forgive me, ma'am, I forget
Standard protocol. Say, do you have any last words
To speak before you breathe your last? Just screams?
Hmm, how predictable. Next time I’d like you to beg.
Cause of death: natural causes (for what else
Could be more so than fire?) This has been boring;
Hereby, I pronounce the case closed, and in hell
May Mr X kiss his bride.